The Big ‘C’

There is one time that when God says no-it is the best no heard. No you are not going to go anywhere I’m not finished with you yet. 

     The day I was diagnosed with cancer was not be the best day of your life. Adenocarcinoma. I remember seeing this in black and white on the lab form. And the doctors face as she told me. She seemed more upset than I was and she was so sweet.  

Then, my mind kind of switched. I went back in time. I still remember one of my best days. The day I was married. Everyone looked beautiful. We were all happy. My mom and dad were there. My daddy gave me away. I was so grateful my parents were still married. It was tough sometimes but they dared to love each other over and over again through disappointment and stressful times. It was inevitable. When all else passed they were still in love. 

That glorious day I was married offered such hope and the promise of a future…it seemed like only good things could come from that day forward, but that is not real life. Life has its ups and it’s downs.

 

The bad days will continue so we got to kind of gear up and ‘find God in all situations’. We need to move forward in the face of fear with courage and boldness.  So, when my doctor informed me my breast biopsy was positive for cancer and negative for the differential, I said’ thank you’. I think that broke her heart. She knew what I was facing. I was raised a southern bell and was just being polite.

Cancer changes things…for some it is lasting for others only for a while.

My husband has always said that dying was not the worst thing to happen to a person and now that I was looking some choices eye to eye, I understand that statement.

 

Now let me say also that I want to reissue those pink ribbons turn them green like I feel most of the time and put a sentiment on there that is true: Cancer sucks-I needed a hug.

I fought to find my voice in the cancer because it changes everything. In finding my confidence I had decided that the cancer is the small ‘c’ and Christ is the big ‘C’ in my life. Those things that seem intolerable in life may not be as bad as you think. I also think I am more willing to listen to someone in pain from this problem.One of the most powerful tools of the voice is to listen well. 

     Here was my journey to date…I went and had the tumor removed and had a stroke in surgery. I had a movie premier and was the ‘voice over’ for the entire movie, which was coming in one month, I could not speak clearly and I had one month before I had to go in the studio. I also was told by my doctors to take a year off and just focus on my health and the chemo and radiation that come next. 

     I could not go down that path. My goal was to be at the movie premier with all my hair and be the voice of that film and show up like nothing happened. That is exactly what did happen.

In my case alone and judge yours with wisdom…I recovered myself from the stroke doing my own rehab and spoke clearly again just 4 days before going into the studio. Listening to that clear voice God gave me for the film that day gave us chills, my husband and I as we knew what it was just a few days before that. I refused chemo and they were so surprised they retested my cells and found out I never needed it after all. Instead of being triple negative I was triple positive.

Radiation was not in my path either, too many side effects, which left me a 50/50 shot it will come back. I still remember my radiation doctor which was Monica Lewinski’s father pleading with me to do this. I felt confident that the Big C was beside me. He was and is and always will be

 

That was almost three years ago. I am practicing the things that prevent cancer in the first place. For me, God set me free from the small ‘c’ and used the issue to allow the big ‘C’ to become a greater force for everyday life.

     The marriage supper of the lamb will probably be like my best day for all of us who know Jesus Christ...It will be the best day of our lives.

There are 6 letters in the ‘c’ word...that dreaded, and it is, cancer. There are 6 letters in the name of 'Christ'.

 

He is the big ‘C’ for me. He proved it.

 

I chose to trust Christ and the fact that He heals was a good choice. The day that my choices worried my doctors so much they retested me head to toe…was a good day. I was tumor free, cancer free and just plain free from all the agony of intense medical care…I felt like a million dollars that day. That ‘I just won the lottery feeling’.

There is power in believing God. I do say follow Him. I still get medical care as needed. So please follow Jesus.

 

There is a powerful strength in your will or call it the decisions of your mind descending downward…And it works.

 

It has a positive effect. I chose life and I lived. I went to that movie premier. I was also the premier director, the voice of the movie a character in the movie and it was our music used in the movie.

Act boldly in the face of intimidating circumstances.

Insecure teaching has a basis in fear and control. 

 

I say with the Lord we can move forward in the face of fear with boldness and  courage.

 

Powerful stuff and we don’t have to be so tough. If we have the ability to be led, God will supply the power. For all the ladies I want to remind you of your inner strength. Own it. God handcrafted it and you are enough.